How would you describe your boss’s management style? Is her or she:
- Autocratic – Wears a crown and scepter to eliminate any doubt
- Visionary – Stares off into the middle distance when you ask for guidance
- Charismatic – Dresses and grooms impeccably but does little else well
- Participative – Expects you to do the work and the work of management
Corporate observers often use categories like these to classify a boss’s approach to management. But do they really capture the full impact on your employment experience? Probably not. Instead, let’s look to classic mythology for a more colorful typology for manager behavior.
Consider these managerial monsters:
The Minotaur
In classical mythology, a minotaur has the head of a bovine and the body of a man (perhaps giving rise to the phrase, “bull headed”). As the ancient Greek poet and management consultant Threerunicus Homer wrote,
My boss is a minotaur, armed with an axe
He keeps us on deadline, makes sure we’re not lax
His snort is dismissive, so thunderous his shout
The sound resonates from the ring in his snout
One other clue that you have a minotaur for a boss: you’re often lost in the labyrinth of your to-do list. Your minotaur boss lingers at the center of the maze, ready to eat you. Sound familiar?
The Gryphon
This legendary creature has the body, tail, and back legs of a lion; the head and wings of an eagle; and sometimes an eagle’s talons as its front feet. That’s a lot of armament for one animal. In the words of Threerunicus Homer,
At times he’s a gryphon, two beasties combined
The head of an eagle, a lion’s behind
The roaring is defining, the shrieking is shrill
If talons don’t get you, the jaw surely will
The gryphon is adept at using its impressive arsenal to protect its own best interest – workload manageability, unencumbered vacation days, ability to head home by 5:00 PM every day.
The Hydra
This is probably the most horrific of the managerial monsters. A hydra is a snake- like creature with multiple heads and poisonous breath and blood so virulent that even its scent is deadly. Threerunicus Homer warns us,
His worst form’s a hydra – nine heads, ugly faces
And if you lop two off, four more take their places
He rechecks our numbers and edits our text
If things don’t add up, eighteen fangs in your neck
Even Heracles needed help to slay a hydra. There’s a lot of chopping and dicing involved.
What hope is there that a managerial monster can morph into a more tractable, tolerable creature? Threerunicus Homer tells us about a manager sent off to learn more productive methods:
He’s gone off to training on management style
To learn to stop screaming, instead to beguile
We’re crossing our fingers that he will transform
Himself to a new shape – a pink unicorn
But can a monster be transformed? The Greek guru adds a cautionary note:
Will work be less stressful? On that point I’m torn
No telling what he’ll do with one pointy horn