Tom is an independent writer and business advisor living in San Francisco. He draws on more than 40 years' experience to write both humorous verse and serious commentary on the workplace and on social phenomena that amuse and bemuse him. Click on the Humor and Serious Business tabs above to read his thoughts.

Thomas O. Davenport

 

Neanderthal

By Thomas O. Davenport

The workplace seems so civilized
Genteel behavior’s highly prized
And yet our stone age DNA
Dictates the way we work today

A meeting’s just a battleground
Where savage conflicts still abound
For if my rival wants to tussle
He’ll feel my prehistoric muscle

I’ll rend his flesh and crack his bones
With verbal sticks, virtual stones
I’ll seize his throat and squeeze but good
I’d take his donuts, if I could

It’s clear from how we all behave
We’re just one step beyond the cave
In truth, we’ve not evolved at all
Look in the mirror, Neanderthal

 

Troglodyte

By Thomas O. Davenport

I am a modern troglodyte
I dig through numbers day and night
Exploring in a data mine
To see what nuggets I can find

The work’s not fun, I will admit
I frequently grow tired of it
I work each day from sun to sun
And why? They pay me by the ton

But if this mine, which I deplore,
Should cave in, ceiling crash to floor
My clock will surely end up punched
And I, not numbers, will be crunched

 

Help Line

By Thomas O. Davenport

When finally my call went through,
Here’s what the techie said:
“There’s little I can do for you.
“I’m sad to say – it’s dead.”

The tears of grief streamed down my face
My faith was all but gone
“Is there no hope, not one small chance
That I might yet log on?”

He rolled his eyes, then shook his head
At least, that was my sense
His words did fill my heart with dread:
“Your problem is immense.”

“I fear your central APS
Has fully melted down.
Your storage buckets are a mess
Your schmeckle drive’s unsound.”

“Perhaps a triple code bypass…
But no, that won’t succeed.”
I felt so desperate, alas
That I began to plead

His final words, all he could say
To spare me from my sorrow:
“Please stay on hold all day to day,
Or call us back tomorrow.”

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Tom has written three books on the employee workplace experience.

Click on the Serious Business tab at the top of the page to read more about them and place an order.